The many Iraq veterans on this board can likely tell stories of some very close contact. Certainly we imposed our will in the vast majority of those fights in an extremely violent way - the only way, in those circumstances.

I don't really see how this is all that relevant in the strategic context, though. Men can and will rationalize or excuse away defeat depending on the political context, not the bloodiness or 'closeness' of the defeat - certainly Israelis will recognize and have been frustrated by that ability on the part of Arab enemies, but it is present amongst most defeated foes to a certain extent. The American South was defeated as thoroughly as one can be on a military level in extremely bloody combat, but the political context of the postwar situation gave rise to rampant Lost Cause mythology, where the Confederacy was triumphant on the battlefield but simply submerged by the Union's greater resources.