KLEs, Shuras, etc are all about relationship building. Not just showing respect, but actually resecting the roles, background, and experiences that brought each of the participants to that meeting, from the young kid making tea to the senior participant. Hand in glove with respect is establishing trust. This takes time and only begins at the KLE.

Americans tend to be too impatient and want to "get down to business." Well, the "business" of the KLE is to get to know each other a bit better, personally, as well professionally. As to the operational issues that are discussed it is more about how people feel about those issues, and appreciating who, in what role, is harboring what feelings, and being able to sort out what all that means in terms of what type of response to expect, or how to tailor the operations to ensure best effects for all.

One of my first KLEs as a young (2-3 months out of the Q-course) captain, meeting for the first time with the CG of the first Egyptian Division to close in Saudi Arabia for the first Gulf War, was a disaster. I'd spent the previous month with the Egyptian Ranger BDE, and my company commander had just arrived in country and we were shifting over as a company to begin pulling this Arab Coalition together.

The Major, myself and another ODA Commander go to the CG's tent, and for me it was a bit of a surreal experience. The large Saudi Hajj tent, the carpets, the incense and music, and this huge wood desk, behind which was this refined, accomplished gentleman. As a Company commander he had led the assault across the Suez and had employed sagger missiles with great effect against the Israelies to forge a successful bridgehead. And here we were, just talking. He wanted to know all about us. We spoke of where we were from, family, etc. I didn't know much, but I knew that he was assessing us as men, as well as seeking to divine through us the intentions and goals of our nation. It was going very well, though very long, and my Major was getting fidgity. I later learned that the other Majors in the BN called this guy "the Baron," but that afternoon, three Americans in the middle of an Egyptian Division, in the middle of the Saudi desert, a few miles of empty sand south of the Iraqi Army, I was about to learn why. The Major cut off the general in mid-sentence and proclaimed, "I'm Major ___ _____, and I'm here to train your division!" I doubt I concealed the shock and horror on my face, and certainly a veil dropped over the expression of the CG, who replied simply "I see." The Major handed him a list of training tasks he'd cooked up in his office back at KKMC, the General accepted the list, glanced at it briefly as he set it aside, and then concluded the meeting and escorted us out.

Driving away, I offered "Sir, I think you insulted the General." "Nonsense!" he mentored, " I thought he was going to talk all day, someone had to take charge of the situation!" We were off to a rocky start, both the Company's relationship with the Division, and mine with the Major.

Respect and trust, empathy and relationship. Too much business too soon is counterproductive to actually getting that business done.