In fairness, none of the referenced links discusses efforts to "civilize" the Middle East. They do refer, I think justly, to the reality that the US cannot impose its own preferred models of governance, nor can the US dictate national borders.
What's going on in the Middle East is not all that different in principle to post colonial transitions elsewhere. Colonial powers imposed order at the expense of stability, aborting the process of political evolution. Post-colonial orders are often dominated by dictators. As those dictatorships age and weaken, the process of political evolution continues. That process is often violent, as it has been everywhere else. Borders may be redrawn; various factions will compete for power. Foreign powers will meddle to advance their interests. None of this is in any way unique to the Middle East. What is particular to the Middle East is that Islam often serves as a rallying point, just as leftist ideologies once did in populations fighting colonists or post-colonial dictators in Asia and Latin America.
In some places the US has caused chaos. Iraq is a notable example, though sooner or later Saddam would have fallen and the same forces of entropy would have been released. More often, though, chaos emerges from domestic conflicts, often (though not always) released as long-entrenched dictators lose their grip.
Is the world being driven away from the US? One could argue that China's aggressive foreign policy has actually drawn the rest of Asia closer to the US, and that Russia's has actually draw Europe closer to the US. Nothing pulls people together like a common perception of threat.
I'm not sure a multipolar world is necessarily detrimental to the US or the world. The monopod is not the most stable of structures.
The US remains an economic powerhouse, though not the sole one, fortunately for the global economy. Iraq and Afghanistan have only demonstrated what has been widely known since Vietnam: the US can take whatever it wants, but can't always hold it. I don't think anyone out there is real eager to go into a fight with the US.
Can't argue with maturity and pragmatism, which are badly needed, but I don't think restoration of anything is a valid goal. Time to build a new set of relationships, not waste time and effort in attempts to recover what is permanently gone.
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