You're missing the point. If the US is going to install a new government in a conquered country, Americans expect at least an effort to make that government recognizably democratic. Past involvement with dictatorships has left a lot of bad feeling and resentment, our people know that, and they don't want to see it repeated. Certainly in Iraq the "easiest" way to provide immediate governance would have been to leave the army intact, find a reasonably amenable dictator, and let him have at it. Not so long ago we'd have done exactly that. Can't do it today because it's not politically acceptable on the home front.
This has nothing to do with whether or not we are willing to deal with or work with non-democracies. The question is whether it would have been domestically acceptable to install a non-democratic government in a conquered territory. The simple answer is "no".
I said nothing generic about "North African, Arab, and Central Asian societies". I referred to Iraq and Afghanistan. I think even a quick look at their recent histories and built-in ethnic/sectarian issues will explain why setting out to provide stable governance in either was a silly task to take on.
The forst step in accomplishing a mission and providing a positive outcome is assigning a realistic, practical mission that's achievable with the resources and time we're willing to commit. Fail there, and everything else down the line will reflect that failure. We failed there, big time.
Hindsight is 20:20. Certainly mistakes were made, but the task of "restoring order" was also quite predictably much more difficult than civilian leaders, many of whom seemed convinced that Iraqis would be dancing in the streets, welcoming us into Baghdad, and jumping on board our program, wanted to believe.
Plans were made. The plans made were completely unrealistic, based on absurd assumptions passed down from above.
Whether or not stable governments can evolve in these societies is a moot point. Of course they can. The question is whether an outside power can impose stable government, and the simple answer is "no". The act of imposing governance and the presence of an occupying power in environments like this effectively guarantees instability and resistance. Efforts to "build a nation" instead of recognizing that nations and governments have to grow through a gradual organic process assure resistance and failure. We couldn't install stable governments, neither could anyone else. It was an idiotic task that should never have been taken on.
The question that needs to be asked is not why the mission failed, but why the mission was undertaken in the first place.
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