Ski,
We absolutely want you (as a representative of the greater American public) to understand as much as can be obtained through assimilating the experience of others (BTW - we also do this through History) - because as Steve notes - its critical to the vitality of our society that you do. As for the exclusiveness of the "soldier" - if you are involved in a war on a personal level - a non-soldier in a war, then the commonality of that experience is much greater. Even the civilian who lives in the city plagued by war, has an understanding of the horror of war - and if they must live with it their entire lives, they know it better then most.

Since war is a social activity, and the make up of healthy societies are diverse - so are the opportunities to contribute in solutions. Much of a person's success in understanding war without participating in it, or suffering from it is based upon that person's willingness to empathize on a number of levels while thoughtfully considering why war happens, how it changes things and what its nature is.

There should be no membership cards with regards to thinking about war - the goal should be prevention if possible, resolution as quickly as possible, and the establishment of a peace that prevents the next war in the same location between the same people. We all can play a role in addressing the fear, honor and interests which drive people to war.

Best Regards, Rob