1. It was October 16th, 1978 when Cardinal Felici stepped onto his balcony and announced the first Polish Pope… This may have changed history and its effect on American Folklore forever – Polack Jokes

2. This scenario does not apply to Army folks. Tell the Marine that he/she needs a bowel movement or pass gas, then reward the Army dude with the scotch.

3. Kasuba awa te

4. Darling, I’ll marry you in the morning.

5. Why don't viola players suffer from piles? Because all the assholes are in the first violin section.

6. It's better to have unstable emotions to get rid of bad moods faster.

7. Travel to foreign lands, meet strange and exotic people, and teach them how to lay mines.

8. Bad News - Tigers are like Sergeants in the Army; they both wear stripes.

9. Put up or shut up. No more political campaigns ever.

10. Bureaucracy, American Style
You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

11. I believed in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny.

12. SIERRA - it happens without people thinking about whether they want it or not.

13. A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

14. All polar bears are left-handed.