Sounds like you're getting bad advice. You're OK to talk to the vendor, so long as both you and the vendor know that you (as the user) don't have any actual, apparent or implied authority to enter into or modify contracts. I usually give my users a little blurb to stick at the end of e-mails to cover that. Who told you that you couldn't talk to them?
By the way, is there a program manager for that item, or is it some kind of commercial-off-the-shelf widget?
If you can't get an answer, get in touch with me.
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