"Sometimes, fiction is the only way to tell the truth." -Paul Harvey

Let me know if you like it.....

v/r

Mike

CHAPTER ONE

01 November 2009, Georgetown, D.C.


“Someday, after mastering winds, waves, tides and gravity, we shall harness the energies of love. And then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will discover fire…The task before us now, if we would not perish, is to build the Earth."
-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Within the ancient landscape of my third-story apartment, above the rants and raves of the drunken law students glimmering, maneuvering, and debating in the hopes of some promotion of status, several miles from the Lawn where Martin Luther King Jr. summoned his speech redefining racial relations, miles away from where my friends slept in their graves deep inside Robert E. Lee’s former plantation now known as Arlington Cemetery, I sat contemplating who I am, where I’ve been, and how it would end. In my plush 3,500 square foot townhome, rumored to have been a residence of John Adams Jr. visiting his father, decorated by D.C.’s finest contemporaries, miles from my brothers fighting in Zaganiyah, some Podunk town along the Diyala River Valley in Iraq, I sat in my Sunday’s best- Army Class A’s depicting my Sergeant First Class rank.

Stephanie slept under the comfort of her 1200-thread linens- the best that money could afford. Years had passed since she last touched me so I knew that this moment would not be disturbed with her awakening from her slumber. I gazed at her sleeping like an angel contemplating shopping the next day. She would only prosper after I finished my final mission. I struggled through this one for a long time- my peers hating the wealth, my fast promotions, and the awards the command bestowed upon me, all the while my wife detesting every minute of my service. I tried my best to balance it, but I knew that none of them would ever truly understand. She would never divorce me lest she face the contempt of leaving a war hero.

I figured that I would never love again. On the emotional landscape, I went mute.

The betrayal and deception that followed tore away my soul. Stephanie was a Daddy’s girl that came with expectations. She had only married me for my prestige and money. She assumed that the Army was a simple distraction before I returned back to the real world of finance, country clubs, and wealth. For the longest of times, I thought that if I only loved her more, then she would understand. That reasoning was foolish. When I met her, I realized everything about her, but I loved her regardless. As I surveyed my will, I knew that she would be well taken care of…Nothing else mattered anymore. All was well. We lost too many men. I could not go on.

Everything was in order- dress right dress in perfect accord…

On my left sleeve, three gambits protruded along my elbow indicating my nine years of service. On my right sleeve, nine hash marks indicated the 54 months of combat in Iraq and Afghanistan that I served. On my left chest, medals of valor and service and the Purple Heart with three stars lined my heart. On my right chest, a foreign jump medal, the Presidential Unit Citation, and my beloved regimental crest adorned. I was from the 5th squadron, 73rd regiment- a small recon element of the famed 82nd Airborne Division. Men amongst men that drew heritage from the Spartans of Thermopylae. Around my neck, the United States Medal of Honor was draped for conspicuous actions of valor above and beyond the duty prescribed of an enlisted man of my rank and grade. Coley’s vintage .45 rested in my mouth. Upon his graduation from West Point in 1996, I bought it for him as a memento.

My thoughts raced from the far past to present. As I scanned the documents on my desk,I pressed play on the CD player. It began with Audioslaves’ Shadow on the Sun, a tribute to my company. I thought of CPT Jim Smalls, 1SG Royce Manus and the others that perished on our third rigged house- that ####ing house that some general decided to give me some ####ing award over. 1SG Manus had a bad feeling about it, but he deferred to the captain. CPT Smalls was never wrong- except this time. God, I loved that man; I loved Shadow Troop. I missed them all…Why did they have to die???
As Audioslave faded, in the background, Dave Matthew’s Band jammed on his thought of Rhyme and Reason,

Oh well oh well so here we stand
But we stand for nothing
My heart calls to me in my sleep
Now can I turn to it
Cause I'm all locked up in this
Dark place -- and I do not know
I'm as good as dead
My head aches -- warped and tied up
I need to kill this pain

My head won't leave my head alone
And I don't believe it will
'Til I'm dead and gone
My head won't leave my head alone
And I don't believe it will
'Til I'm six feet underground

How long I'm tied up
My mind in knots -- My stomach reels
In concern for what I might do or
What I've done
It's got me living in fear
Well I know these voices must
Be my soul
I've had enough
I've had enough
Of being alone
I've got no place to go.

I felt nothing and everything all at once. I soaked in the passion of the violin, bass, and lyrics. I pulled back the hammer. I let everything go- all the pain, hurt, violence and passion. It was time to end it all. I felt the cold breeze flow from the open door of the balcony. The wind travelling off the Potomac let me know that this was real. It was all real; it was now. The time was right.

As I began to pull on the trigger, just three pounds of pressure, the doorbell chimed. God Damn it. Nothing was to be finalized tonight. Steph stirred from the doorbell, and I scrambled to hide the gun. I was not prepared for the news.

Joshua answered the door…It was weird. We used to be best friends. The last time we spoke, his right hand broke my jaw from a hook as he refused to follow the new commander’s orders.

“Audio is dead.”

Everything changed….My world shifted again…

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