Where I confused the matter is in emphasizing that international aspect, compared to my actual focus on the inter-personal. I'm borrowing from Nye, Nossel and Clinton because their macro expression structurally reflects my micro view.
Good starte with Joe Nye; I worked with/for him in Rwanda. I recommend his book, the main thesis I would describe as "we often achieve our greatest effects because of what we are and what we are seen as versus what we do."

Tom