Tomorrow Morning

[Kiwigrunt]

Write your book. Tell the world your story, your sacrifice, and how you see things. In time, I will tell my story. It is important.

I’m pleased you said that Mike because this (from your Paying homage to Ceaser thread)
bothered me a bit:

If you know me or have followed my thoughts on SWC, then you know that I could easily write a memoire and secure a financially-beneficial job with political influence within the Beltway and appear semi-nightly on Fox News.

Honestly, that prospect disgusts me.

I had prepared an over-long reply but refrained from posting because considerations got in the way. I now consider it redundant.
Thank you for continuing to share.

[MikeF]

I’m pleased you said that Mike because this (from your Paying homage to Ceaser thread)
bothered me a bit:



I had prepared an over-long reply but refrained from posting because considerations got in the way. I now consider it redundant.
Thank you for continuing to share.

This is something that I've been dealing with as money is offered. I need to double post it in the other thread as it is not a knock on Andrew Exum, John Nagl, or Craig Mullaney. I know 2 of the 3 personally, and I respect all three. If you don't know them, I can tell you their hearts are pure. It is not fair for me to be hurtful or hateful to them in the public record. It is me dealing with my own issues.

As I write my own experiences, as I remember the blood spilled, I have to ask myself if I'm going to capitalize on it. It disgust me to even consider it. I'm in the process of establishing a charity/ngo to send any profits that I may one day incur. I'll probably limit myself to a salary cap in the example of Greg Mortensen- although I may splunge one day to allow myself a boat.

That does not mean that I shall not write or give my analysis/opinion.

That's a question every man must consider.

Mike

[Kiwigrunt]

Hi Mike,

I was not suggesting that you were knocking others or being hurtful in any way….other than to yourself. So part of my planned post is back from redundancy, even though the considerations that prohibited me from posting it earlier are still in place. Those include not wanting to criticise and not wanting to be hurtful to you. Also fear for not being well enough versed to get my point across.

I can’t help wondering if you are just seeing too much into all of this, as a result of which you are expending a lot of energy kicking up against a beast that is both to large for any of us to tackle and probably largely only exists in our perceptions.

I’m not saying that I disagree with you with regards to profiteers etc. Not at all. In fact I am probably equally cynical. I do however think that you need to be a bit careful with connecting financial benefits with greed or lack of morality. You get paid as a soldier but you choose not to see that in the same light. But that goes for many people in other professions. In fact, we all like to think that what we do (as a job or otherwise) is somehow important and beneficial to others.

My clients pay me to build a third bathroom in their house. I do that mainly because it is my job/trade and I have to pay the bills. Do I think it is important for them to have three bathrooms? Not at all, but so what. They want it (they actually say they need it) and are happy to pay me the money. Does that make me (or them) self-righteous and greedy? I don’t think so. It does sometimes make me wonder if I could be doing something ‘bigger’ or more important with my time, but that’s another matter.

So, getting back to your disgust towards making money on your memoirs.

Are you afraid that you will prove as good an author as you are a soldier? The way I see it, if you were to make good money from it then that would be a reflection of your qualities as an author, and other people’s interest in what you have to say. What’s wrong with that? Also think about how much money was made on for instance ‘Band of Brothers’.
And here I was indeed going to suggest charities, but you’ve got that covered. Just don’t forget the Michael Nootebos benevolent fund….

There are many different battles to fight and many different ways of fighting them, and as such there are many different ways in which to be of service. In fact, any contribution to the social fabric is of service. So far, yours just happened to involve an M4 carbine. It’s what you’ve done for some time and you’ve become very good at it. Just don’t get too attached to the idea that that’s the only way to show respect to your fallen comrades and that earning a living any other way, including telling their story, is somehow disrespectful. I think that that may even minimise their sacrifice. I’m sure that they would want nothing more than for life at home to go on as usual, because that is what they fought for, not respect for their own blood spilt (which they do have of course). The ability and freedom for my clients to pay me for a third bathroom is supposedly what this is all about, right?

So, to conclude, I think you are staring yourself blind against this money thing to the point that it is stopping you from deciding (freely) what next to do with your life. Even if that does indeed still involve that M4.



Preaching was another one of my considerations. Hope it didn't come across too much as such.

[MikeF]

Preaching was another one of my considerations. Hope it didn't come across too much as such.

Every unit that I commanded ran by my rules. Every man was a volunteer. That's why I call them Mike's boys. If someone didn't like it, they could move somewhere else. I never had anyone ask to leave. The only problem that I encountered was those that wished to join, and I had no room.

I developed my command around the concept of team. Many of my West Point classmates and my bosses told me I was too close to my boys. I had 90. I'm still in touch with most of them and their families. We are family. I told my boss that I had to do it my way right or wrong. At times, I was told that I was not professional, and I was out of control. In other times, I was the only one my bosses could call on to fix the worst problems.

My brother is a preacher, and for a while, I thought that was my calling. Today, I sat at the bar encouraging a Vietnam vet looking for work to go help out in Salinas. My brother did not like my methods b/c I was drinking. Here's my thought process that I went through today.

1. It's not about you. Craig Mullaney popularized how we were raised.

2. Second guessing God. The entire scientific process assumes no creator. We are morons confused in brilliance of our own foolishness.

3. Glimpse into the darkness of my soul. Or as Tupac put it, staring at the depths of my solitude.

4. My faith must begin or rest on somewhere or something.

5. Love Beyond Reason.

6. Temper my feelings.

7. What is my purpose?

8. Where is my peace?

I returned to the story of Peter the fisherman. When he first met Jesus, he dropped everything to follow him. His self-confidence was elated, and he fought to be the best disciple. After Jesus died, he betrayed him three times and went back to fishing. His self-confidence was broken. When Jesus came back, he had to ask Peter 3 times if Peter loved him before he finally understood.

That's what I considered today.

I have to determine for myself an endstate before I head back into the breach. Once I figure it out, the boys will folow whether it's Nuristan or Wilmington. They're waiting on me.

When I process these thoughts, then I will know how tomorrow morning comes.

[MikeF]

It's all in perspective.

If you ask my first first NPS dean, CAPT Kathrynn Hobbs, if you ask the head of the Defense Analysis Department, Gordon McCormick, they'll tell you that I'm one of the smartest students ever to enroll into NPS.

-He was in the top third of his USMA class.
-He has three valor awards in combat.
-He sat down to dinner with al Qaeda, destroyed two AQ training camps, and single-handidly took down the ISI in Diyala Province.
-He is a below the zone major.
-He's worked with Salinas to help them secure themselves.

If you ask the current dean, CAPT Jannice Wynn, she'll state,
-He does not earn his paycheck.
-He does not conform to military standards.
-He spent three nights in jail while drinking with gang members that deal drugs (Karl vick didn't put that in the WaPo story as part of my intelligence gathering).
-He slums around in pajamas(her nickname for ACUs)
-His actions are unbecoming of a military officer.
-He uses his PTSD/TBI as a crutch. He's too smart for that.

It's all in perspective.

I'm all that and more.

Have you ever loved someone that you would give an arm for? Not the expression, literally give an arm for? -Eminem

Mike doesn't do garrison.

Mike.

[Steve the Planner]

MikeF:

Here's the dedication I am scratching out:

"This book is dedicated to Private First Class Christopher Lotter, a young soldier from Chester Heights, Pennsylvania, who died at age 20 on December 31, 2008 after being shot by a sniper while on patrol to inspect a water treatment plant outside Tikrit, Iraq."

It took me a while to think through writing something that some might see only by the negative parts, but the truth is that Chris was shot on the day that I outprocessed working on a project I set in motion.

I went to his internment at Arlington, but watched from a distance. Was afraid I might say something negative...

Now, though, I am pretty sure the more important book isn't really about him, it or me, but about setting some background or context...especially where it might help in the next few years.

What is the thing that's going to make the biggest difference? That's the Tomorrow Morning thing.

Maybe I'll save the Qaddasaya stories for another day...

Steve

[MikeF]

"This book is dedicated to Private First Class Christopher Lotter, a young soldier from Chester Heights, Pennsylvania, who died at age 20 on December 31, 2008 after being shot by a sniper while on patrol to inspect a water treatment plant outside Tikrit, Iraq."

Tell Chris's story. Tell your story.

I haven't been ready to travel to Arlington yet. I'm hoping that I can go there next memorial day to say goodbye to my boys. I'm not ready yet.

I have 24 boys to talk about. I keep having those dreams.

Mike

[Steve the Planner]

So get up in the morning. Tell the stories that are going to make a difference.

The monitary, guilt trip and all the other issues will resolve themselves in their own wake.

Sleep well. You have a lot to get done.

Steve