Mike
You are going to have to find your inner peace and your peace of mind. Perhaps you've already found it, perhaps not.
The war is going to end at some point. Whether that is in three or ten years is irrelevant. If you can't handle the garrison aspect of the military, then you are going to leave once the wars are over. I think you know this.
There is no endstate. That's the bottom line. Time is going to continue, and you can either adapt to changing circumstances, be left behind and reminisce about "the good old days", or just leave the green machine. It'll keep on going without you.
The real question - to me, at least, because I've seen a lot of my peers and friends struggle with this is - Are you going to let your military service define the rest of your life? Is this it? Have your experiences been so intense, so personal, so real that you are going to let them continue to influence the rest of your days on earth? It's not a good or bad thing to me.
To me, my military service is but one part of my life. If I was to die tomorrow, I could say without reservation "I did my duty." And that's good enough for me. I did my duty in peacetime, and in wartime. And if I get to live for another 50 years - god willing - that is the question I will always ask myself at the end of the day - Did I do my duty today to the best of my abilities? I am on the downside of my career - I'm going on 11 years of active service, and I wish to see what else the world offers in nine years...unless the service and country need me to stay on...then I would...but at some point, I want to see what else the world has to offer outside of military service. That's my personal struggle...I was a traditional Guardsman for almost five years, and I know the corporate world well. It's not my cup of java, but there are other things I'd like to do and experience.
Garrison life is part of the Army. Operational and Strategic assignments are part of an officer's career path if you stay in for the long haul. You will be part of a very small minority if you get to stay within the tactical realm, and even then, you will have to do garrison duties. To me, I think you'd be invaluable as a trainer and a mentor to young officers and soliders no matter what positon you are in. And that's just as important as being the deadly effective combat leader and intellectual you already are....don't sell yourself short.
My two quatloos. Caveat Emptor.
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