What is the difference between "strongest tribe" and "most threatening power"? I see no real difference. The strongest tribe is strong precisely because it can impose the most punishment if pushed.
Security is not about providing total protection. If that is the focus, its bound to fail. The "strongest tribe" does not provide guards and forts to protect every dwelling. The British famously policed the entire gulf with what, one battalion of coldstream guards? The strongest tribe reliably and consistently helps its allies (at least after the fact) and reliably and ruthlessly goes after tribes that cross its red lines. But it also draws red lines that are pretty basic and not unrealistic.
There is no general rule. Afghanistan is a particular case. The real question is not whether X country can be "pacified" this way or not. The question is "can Afghanistan be pacified in this or that manner".
I think that the taliban could have been overthrown and replaced with a long lived Afghan govt that could survive with some help from outside. And that govt would have been helped to provide more services and benefits than the taliban could. OK, mistakes were made. but lets not forget that most Afghan refugees came back to Afghanistan AFTER the supposedly safe and brilliantly in-control Taliban had been driven away. More kids are in school, many many more young people are in college, much more economic activity is going on even now (most of it is foreign aid, I know).
I think its possible, from THIS situation, to get to a reasonably functional Afghan regime and its even possible to get many taliban to join such a state. But to do so, pakistan has to be on board on the side of this experiment, not against it. AND most communities have to see that the taliban are pursued after X or Y acts and that promises are kept. The taliban are not some sort of amorphous ocean. They have commanders, bases, networks. These can be identified and targeted. All these things are possible (though certainly not guaranteed to happen). So its not just hopes and dreams. Its a real possibility (even if not the likeliest possibility?).
Is the team in place now capable of carrying it off and is it worth it? those are different questions. My point is, its not hopelessly naive to think this can be done (and done without using infinite resources or mass killings of hostages) , even in Afghanistan.