After Nam, I stayed drunk a long time and I can't sleep unless I have a loaded weapon in my bedroom. That Mossberg is covered with dust but it is there. I never got any release until I felt honored as a Veteran and I got that from a Native American Pow wow about 18 yrs ago or so, their Veteran's Honor Song when all the Vets on hand go in the arena and move together around the flag and Native Staff. I'm not Indian but that's just my personal experience. Once I felt honored as a Vet, I was able to respect and honor the NVA/VC - men who just wanted to make it home and keep their buddies alive. It's a hell of a life we chose and I believe in time you will be able to look back and believe that if you had it all to over again, you would change nothing. I wouldn't. therapy never did a thing for me but I know a few guys that it did help. Hang in there.