I still don't see how we're supposed to "empower self-determination", in any specific terms. Western diplomats urging reform will have about as much impact as an online petition. These rulers don't give a damn what Western diplomats say; they never have. They've heard the refrain so many times they could sing it in their sleep. It has no impact at all.
I disagree if these urgings were actually tied to incentives or punishments. The stick of withdrawing $1.2 bn in annual U.S. military aid could prove an effective incentive for an army divided on whether or not to open fire on peaceful demonstrators, for instance.