Do you not see the inconsistency there?
Assume that the Chinese are looking at us exactly the same way that you want us to look at them. We have a very large navy, bigger than theirs by orders of magnitude. We have a tradition of pushing people around whenever it suits us to do so... how many people and countries have been pushed around by the US in the last 50 years, and how many have been pushed around by China? Why would they not see us as a threat, and why would they not beef up force and try to mark out territory - sort of the international equivalent of a dog pissing on trees - in response to that perceived threat? How do you think Americans would react if China declared that they had critical economic interests in the Gulf of Mexico, and was the dominant naval power there?
You seem to be treating the current developments as something new. They aren't. This has been going on periodically for decades, and I see now reason to treat it any differently now than we have before. Ignoring it is a mistake, but blowing it out of proportion and treating it as a sign of imminent aggression is an equal mistake. Taking it too seriously, and showing too much concern, is as big a mistake as showing too little.
Again, we have to recall that what the primary disincentive to actual Chinese aggression (as opposed to jockeying for position on the periphery) is not US military force, but the likelihood that conflict would bring significant economic disruption, which the Chinese regime would probably not survive. Of course if that disruption occurs anyway, which is likely, a lot of things could happen, including an anti-capitalist backlash and a takeover by much more aggressive factions. Undermining the Chinese government is really not in our interest, given the likely alternative.
Why?
Nobody's talking about "cutting the Taiwanese loose" anyway, so I don't see much point in hypothesizing over it. It's not an all-or-nothing situation, and shouldn't be; the degree of commitment and the level of visible action that's required or useful at any given point has to be assessed as the situation evolves.
Again, I think you're overstating what's going on. It's nothing new, it's usually followed by rounds of negotiation and a whole lot of statements, then everyone goes home and stays clam a while until the whole thing flares again. Nobody's achieved a conquest or a great victory; it's just one more step in the process of jockeying around the periphery and seeing what can be gotten away with without significant economic repercussions.
We always have something to be concerned about. That's cause for concern, not panic or hysteria, and responses have to be based on realistic assessments of problems and goals.
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