Small countries in critical locations or possessing critical resources appreciate very well that larger countries will exercise their interests with them in some way or another. Balancing larger powers to find the least intrusive and disruptive mix of that external influence is the best one in that position can hope for.

The US is often perceived as a favorable partner to balance the growing influence of some other state. The US is also apt to mistake that desire for our ability to help balance a situation as "friendship" and treat the relationship like a friendship rather than more pragmatically like a business relationship. No one stays too late after a business meeting concludes, but we've all been guilty of, or a victim of, a friend not knowing when it's time to go home; or being too eager to press the latest thing he or she is excited about upon you so that you too can share in that goodness.

A practical assumption is that as China rises in power in Asia, there will be a commensurate rise in US influence. India is too close, and Europeans too much baggage. The US has her own baggage though, and accumulating more all the time.

American foreign policy too often tends to seem a lot more like high school relationships than mature business partnerships. At a certain level that might be charming, but damn it gets us into a lot of avoidable dramas.

The worst thing the US could do is attempt to revitalize the Cold War and attempt to "contain" China. The smartest thing is to recognize that the boat of US influence rises on the sea of Chinese power. Enjoy the ride. Far more than anything the US could say or do, the rise of China opens doors for US influence across Asia-Pacific. Just so long as we don't assume that means everyone wants to be our friend and have us move in. They aren't, and they don't.