Re: Viet Nam. The Armed forces do not demand. This country has civilians firmly in control of the military and most everyone likes it that way. They were not allowed to 'go all the way' or even part way. It was a war of limited objective that was deliberately constrained for several reasons. Poor civilian -- and military -- policies made that situation worse than it needed to be.
I agree with you on the food stamps and poor treatment but some of that is due to individual failures and not system screwups -- though those also occur. All things considered, the system is reasonably fair and no one is getting screwed. Nor is anyone getting special bennies -- and I do not think anyone should.
Many think all official business in this country should be conducted only in English but every time that gets to a vote in Congress or in this or that State, it gets tromped. So you may think your proposal is fair but I do not think many will agree. I don't.
Depends on what you call rich I suppose. My point is that in 45 years in or around the Army and with three sons who served, on of whom is still serving their and my perception is that the Army pretty well represents all classes of society in this country.
As for American handling war well, may be a function of where you live and / or what you watch or read. Basically, I think the 1/3 rule pretty well covers it -- that and the two year rule. That rule says Americans will give a war two years; if it then looks like it's not doing well, they start getting upset. That rule also has strong historical validation.
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