mTBI, PTSD and Stress (Catch All)

[MikeF]

UNDERSTANDING PTSD AND MTBI: INITIAL OBSERVATIONS


MICHAEL FEW


Currently, the combined frequency, intensity and duration of multiple combat deployments on a small volunteer force are showing some disturbing trends that befuddle commanders and mental experts. They include: 1. Suicide, 2. Divorce, 3 Substance Abuse, 4. Retention. Personally, I believe these are symptoms of a greater problem. Call it PTSD, mTBI, or whatever term best suits, it is simply a horrid combination of stress and anger. Life is hard; life is not fair, but there is endurance, acceptance, and perseverance within faith, hope and love.

After a traumatic event, whether it be a buddy dying, a rape, or a genocide, people react under different ways pursuant to one’s individual formula of life lessons, coping skills, community support, and environment. Two extremes of coping include the reaction of the citizens of Oklahoma City to the terrorist bombing versus the citizens of New Orleans to Katrina. Dr. Jon labels these as victim versus strivers. I fall into the third category: survivor. Everything is attitude as it relates to how one chooses to manage life’s events.

Understanding and accepting what one cannot control.

For the past two months, I prayed, fasted, and sought wisdom on how to share where I have been and what I have seen to possibly help everyone else. I thought to myself, “Self, how do you explain the unexplainable?” The answer was so apparent- honest, brutal conversation. It is so humorous how you can have a private conversation with someone and generate truth, yet, we refuse to express the same truth in public in fear of how it will be perceived. So, I spent a week sending you the thoughts in my head as they raced out.

I took action. I let go of control to regain control. I did it my way conquering every fear with blunt trauma and mindless repetition.

As a survivor, I have a tendency to try to right every wrong, seeking justice for every transgression. In moderation, my voice can be brilliant. Unregulated, it is the definition of insanity. Think about it. If one tries to take on the role of stopping every stupid driver on the road, one will just die from anger. Stupid drivers exist because there are cars. It just is. We are all interconnected and intertwined. That is why Antartica bleeds right now in hurt of our own anger. You call it global warming just as you don’t understand why non-religious women martyr themselves in despair in Zaganiyah.

Emerson spoke of this as self-reliance. It is life. Darwin, Jesus, Kant, Mohammed, Hobbes, Keynes, Locke, and Smith explained it in their own ways trying to apply life to business, religion, and politics. Warren Buffet capitalized on his acceptance and understanding of the applications of fear and greed. My heart bleeds in deep introspection as we skew truth in generalization and specialization. I only understood this by reading their words on my own not to be lost in someone else’s misinterpretation. Easterners simply call it Tao and spitituality.

It is time for me to take some rest and heal. You can call it a sabbatical, medical retirement, or whatever works for you. I don’t particularly care for labels anymore as words are important yet we constantly mislabel. I’m simply going to pursue the difference of carrot pancakes and purple ice-cream from a young girl that I love more than jellybeans. I finally looked in the mirror and understood my truth.


My only recommendation for you is to visit Topeka Kansas VA and let the staff share their understanding.

So what is PTSD? Maybe it is best understood with how I shared it with Taylor- there is something powerful in the innocence of a four year old. It works with me. Now, you can find your own truth.

“Daddy, are you mad at me?”


“No dear. When Daddy was in Iraq, Daddy bumped his head. I tried to use a band-aid, but it did not work. I even tried to use a Sponge Bob band-aid. My head still hurt so I had to go to the hospital and see the doctor.”

“I love you Daddy.”

“I love you too.”

“Daddy, I love you three.”

“I love you more than jellybeans.”

Words mean things. Knowledge is power. Ultimately, it is the only form of treatment.

Happy Easter.