Some Things Never Change

[jmm99]

to dispel the inaccuracies - nay, perhaps even culumnies - recited of that noted serjeant atte arms Ken de Alba, which are circulating with reckless abandon within the hallowed halls of our Inns of the Court, particularly amongst the middle benches of the fledgling barristers. Indeed, the tale is an old one - are not all truths and falsehoods old ? - of de Alba's use of a club in battle to dispatch Cirroc (a fate, which if true, was far too good for that wretched creature, allowing him admittance to Valhalla).

Nay, as revealed by our oldest pipe rolls, the facts are quite different. For Cirroc, amongst his clan and others, plied the trade of a divorce lawyer. It was in the course of de Alba's little-known first divorce that, what could have been a mutual and acceptable settlement between the man and the woman (represented by Cirroc), became a shambles because of Cirroc's abusive verbal tactics in resolving the question of custody of the Family Club. Driven beyond all reason by that divorce lawyer's antics, de Alba did indeed smote Cirroc with that honorific club - a clear case of irresistible impulse.

So, while de Alba did smote Cirroc with the club, it was not an act of war, but one of excusible assault. Perhaps, it was that story that impelled some in literary circles to claim that de Alba, by then known as White, caused the Bard to write the famous phrase "kill all the lawyers". Again, we know that also is inaccurate because the military rolls are explicit that White was then advising Lord Essex in his campaign against the Irish insurgents.

Another inaccuracy concerning de Alba (perhaps an enlargement of the Family Club tale) is that he used a club in battle. We know in fact that de Alba kept abreast of advances in military technology and wisely selected those weapon systems and associated tactics that would yield him the best advantage. Why do we know this ? Not because of the vagaries of hearsay, but because of demontrative evidence - the graphic of the blood feud battle between de Alba's clan and Cirroc's clan.

We see that de Alba employed a wedge formation - he leading the wedge; and all combatants used bows and arrows. His sense of tactics led to his now famous doctrine: "One up, two back; effective suppressive and supporting aimed fires - and hit them in the flank."

Cirroc's clan was, of course, outnumbered in this contest; for it lacked Cirroc. Not that that wretched creature would have added much as a warrior; but it was truly said that he had the voice of 10 or even 100 men - the first PsyOps officer.

PS: Wilf, the attachment is especially for you.