1. From the feedback that I've received from various junior leaders across the board, it seems that many are confusing being nice for being respectful. The damn phrase of "winning the hearts and minds" is being translated into never upset anyone. That is simply wrong, and I've seen too many soldiers get killed from those mistakes.
2. Never say never. We soldiers, not anthropologist. We use our understanding of cultural awareness to accomplish our mission not write an extensive ethonography on that nation's culture. Many times I learned through blunt trauma, but I did learn that you should never rule out any tools in your kitbag.
3. Relationship building. We operated in and around Zaganiyah for nearly nine months before this incident. I developed extensive relationships with both the Sunni and Shia tribes. I never took sides. Right before we entered Zaganiyah, I had the local IA commander arrested b/c he was commiting his own autrocities and feuling the local civil war (he was a shia from Kharnabhat, an adjacent town). I tried my best to stay neutral and only take action when necessary. Plus, I rarely raised my voice. So, when the appropriate time came to do so and show anger and disgust, it was respected.
4. In reality, at least in Diyala Province, yelling is the first part of any negotiation. It usually works like this...
1/3- Offended parties yell at each other in heated, exaggerated shows of emotion.
1/3- Arbitrator (Typically sheik or imam) calms everyone down and the discuss a reasonable solution
1/3 - Hugs, Man kisses, chai, and cigarettes. Everyone celebrates.
It is an odd way to do business, but it works for them.
v/r
Mike
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