Many thanks to all who have responded - I think some very interesting and valid (at least in my limited experience) points have been made.

- I have also found that people generally show more tolerance towards "ignorant foreigners" if the ignorant foreigners are making a sincere attempt to learn and use at least a little of their language. A little truly can go a long way.

- I did not begin serious study of a foreign language until high school, but I at least was able to take 4 years of Spanish, and become reasonably proficient. No doubt, I would have learned more had I started at a much younger age.

- Desire to learn and the willingness to occasionally make a real fool of yourself in public will also carry one far. While the public embarassment may be hard on the ego, it too can be an icebreaker.

- I think the point about learning one foreign language well making learning another one easier is also true. Clearly knowing Spanish well would make it easier to learn another Romance language, I think that it goes beyond that. My personal theory is that if you can make your brain accept the fact that the world can be described and categorized in some amazingly different ways, the next "map of the world" is easier, even if completely unrelated to the first foreign language learned.

In the context of small wars, COIN, etc. perhaps the question is how do you create, find and/or encourage the patience, mental flexibility and willingness to learn another language and culture as one of the bases for success?