Blackwater IS the Templars. The Vatican is secretly in charge; they formed Blackwater and sent them to Iraq to get rid of Muslims and recover a mysterious relic with infinite power. The CIA is involved,and oil companies, and aliens, and Elvis. Blind affidavit #1 was filed by a gorgeous chick, and when the Templars come to silence her she will be rescued by the guy who filed blind affidavit #2, a manly man with perfect hair and lots of liposuction, who has a gun that shoots 437 rounds without reloading and knows kung-fu and ninjutsu. In 120 minutes they will save the day, recover the relic, kill the sinister corporate stooge at the core of the conspiracy, discover cold fusion, save the whales and the ozone layer, and we will all live happily ever after.

If you don't believe me, wait for the trailer... coming soon to a cinema near you!